When I was still in school, I had a friend who was very talented in music and he seemed like a normal, happy 16-year old kid. He was like a big brother to me and he used to teach me how to play the guitar.
I remember that he once performed Glenn Fredly's song "Januari" during a school performance. It was his most beautiful but sad rendition of the song ever. I guess you could say it was his swan song because, ironically, he chose to commit suicide in that month. It was January when his parents found his body in his room. The last phone call he made was when he chatted with me about exams and the latest movies the night before.
I had felt my friend's pain for those few months before his death. But I couldn't do anything to save him.
Why do humans tend to feel despair in life, either with or without a reason?
Maybe we're feeling this darkness because we tend to be afraid of the unknown - the future that we cannot predict, the consequences of our actions that we cannot see, or the effect of others' decisions that we cannot understand... the list is endless. And when we couldn't control the unknown, we become vulnerable. This sense of vulnerability makes us feel insecure and helpless.
But on the other hand, I suppose this feeling of despair somehow reveals another side of humanity for us to see with our hearts. We begin to put ourselves in someone else's shoes for a moment and try to view the world in the same perspective. We tend to find some signs that later form answers to our questions.
And when everything becomes another memory, we later find that there may be more to life than just this. Life today may have more meaning than the one we lived yesterday, and the one tomorrow may possibly be more meaningful than today. The important question is: how do we achieve that meaningful life?
And after a while, the pain will still be there, but day after day it may hurt less than before.
"JANUARI" BY GLENN FREDLY is playing in my mind today.
I remember that he once performed Glenn Fredly's song "Januari" during a school performance. It was his most beautiful but sad rendition of the song ever. I guess you could say it was his swan song because, ironically, he chose to commit suicide in that month. It was January when his parents found his body in his room. The last phone call he made was when he chatted with me about exams and the latest movies the night before.
I had felt my friend's pain for those few months before his death. But I couldn't do anything to save him.
Why do humans tend to feel despair in life, either with or without a reason?
Maybe we're feeling this darkness because we tend to be afraid of the unknown - the future that we cannot predict, the consequences of our actions that we cannot see, or the effect of others' decisions that we cannot understand... the list is endless. And when we couldn't control the unknown, we become vulnerable. This sense of vulnerability makes us feel insecure and helpless.
But on the other hand, I suppose this feeling of despair somehow reveals another side of humanity for us to see with our hearts. We begin to put ourselves in someone else's shoes for a moment and try to view the world in the same perspective. We tend to find some signs that later form answers to our questions.
And when everything becomes another memory, we later find that there may be more to life than just this. Life today may have more meaning than the one we lived yesterday, and the one tomorrow may possibly be more meaningful than today. The important question is: how do we achieve that meaningful life?
And after a while, the pain will still be there, but day after day it may hurt less than before.
"JANUARI" BY GLENN FREDLY is playing in my mind today.
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