Faizal told me his cat Halia had run away from home. Where could that little monster have gone to? Don't look at me, I've been too deep in depression in the past few days to think of torturing Halia.
a mug with Halia's mug on it at his desk.
Gee has been trying to reach me on the phone 28 times today. I ignored all her calls because I had a feeling she was going to ask me out for Ramadhan shopping. She kept hinting on the sales that are going on around the town yesterday.
Puan Nori harps on my luxurious mane again. Sheesh... that old woman never gives up.
what it means to be a lawyer, do you?!"
Or maybe she finds it strange that a guy would buy so many chocolates as if he's going to stock them up for an oncoming war curfew or something like that.
Spent a lot on chocolate bars and chocolate chip cookies for fast-breaking later. If I had a chocolate factory like Willy Wonka, I'd be the luckiest guy on Earth. I forgot how long I had lost interest in chocolates since my depression started.
I admit that I did have some issues way back then that could contribute to my previous depression, but I thought I have handled them well. Or maybe I only manage to bury them somewhere deep inside my brain. For some reason, I suspect that the virus found in my blood had attacked a part of my grey matter and weakened my ability for critical thinking. This could explain the difficulties I faced in following instructions and processing information given to me while I still had the virus. To make matters worst, the medicine prescribed by the doctors had somehow triggered my depression by making me remember all the bad memories I supressed while trying to eliminate the virus. Its side-effect made me able to visualize pain and I suffered a temporary delirium. I did an experiment by stopping my medicine intake and the result was that my depression started to subside. To conclude the story - antibiotics nearly killed me.
I think that was the longest period of depression I ever had - the first sign began around 11th of August, I thought it was merely stress back then. Somewhere near 20th of August, I began to suspect that I wasn't feeling quite right. 12th to 13th of September was the worst peak of my depression; I was becoming suicidal. I think I stopped thinking of suicide on the 24th of September, after my attempt had been botched by some cat.
That means I was deep in depression for 2 months. Wow.
But these feelings of isolation and sadness still haven't left me till now. I wonder why.
is playing on my mind today
No comments:
Post a Comment