DYING THOUGHTS

I am sorry.

I thought I could keep on with life as usual. But I find that I can't.

I am sad. Sadly, I myself don't understand why I'm sad.

Why is everything around me so dark and faded? I cannot understand anything that is happening around me. Everything I do is wrong nowadays, I don't understand why I did a lot of disastrous mistakes these days.

I want to sleep in my bed and die the next morning.

This world has nothing left for me. I have no destiny, and I have seen the future. I am not in there. I don't belong anywhere.

I am not normal since birth, I can't feel what other people are feeling, I can't understand what other people experience in their lives, I can't think how other people think. Because of my difference, the kids keep picking fights with me. Because I didn't think like everyone in class, the teacher slapped me and locked me in the book closet. Because I was born, my father's mother tried to murder me. I cannot trust anyone anymore. That is why I chose to be alone since 10 years ago.

I made a lot of enemies, I don't have friends, I never knew how to live life like a normal teenager, I never understood normal human emotions...

What am I living for then?

How cold. I am alone now. Nobody will know what I am about to do. I want to disappear and never return.

Goodbye, and sorry to everyone who knows me. Enjoy your fasting month everyone.

BLAME IT ON ME - AKON
is playing in my mind, for the last time, today.